She's Back
by LandofShadows
Summary: Someone from Sara's past comes back. Please R&R! COMLETE!
1. Drifting Off

**Title: **She's Back

**Chapter Title: **Drifting Off

**Disclaimer:** Please don't remind me, but I don't own CSI

**Summary: **Someone from Sara's past comes back.

**Spoilers:** Nesting Dolls

* * *

"Sara!" Gil Grissom said, trying to get her attention. The two of them were supposed to be investigating the murder of Ms. Antonia Ricardo.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, process the room, right?" she said, coming out of her own world.

"No, I told you to check the perimeter," Grissom corrected her, "Are you okay? I mean, you just seem a little out of it lately."

"I'm fine, just a little tired, that's all," she told him.

"Come on Sara, stay focused! Let it go, she's not coming!" Sara told herself as she walked out the front door to check for evidence. She silently promised to herself to forget about it. She tried so hard to convince herself that Lexis was wrong, that she wasn't out.

After finding a piece of cloth snagged onto some bushes and some tire treads that didn't match the cars in the garage, she headed back to the lab. Sara had also found some blood on the doorstep that didn't match the victim's. There had been defensive wounds on the woman. She was preparing to run the DNA through CODIS when her mind drifted off again. She just couldn't seem to get her out of her head.

She kept telling herself, "It's not true. She's not back. She can't be." Deep down inside of her, however, she knew that it was true, that it was only a matter of time before she came to see her.

"Hey, Sara," said Catherine Willows, walking into the room, "did you find a match on that blood yet?"

"Um, no," Sara told her, Catherine had startled her, and she came back to the world, "I was just about to run it through CODIS now. I'll let you know if I find anything."

"You've been back from the crime scene for almost an hour. What the hell have you been doing all this time?" Catherine asked, she was beginning to get fed up with Sara's recent behavior.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Sara answered. She just wished that she could tell someone what was bothering her, but she knew they wouldn't understand. After talking to Gil about what her mother did, she felt better, but now it was even worse than before.

"Whatever, just get back to work," Catherine said, disgusted.

* * *

"Hey, Grissom, I need to talk to you," Catherine said, walking into Grissom's office.

"About what?" he inquired.

"About Sara; she's been so distant lately. She zones out, she forgets about things, and she shows up late. She needs to get her act together. I don't know what's going on, but she needs to keep it out of the lab," Catherine told him.

"Okay, I'll see if I can talk to her and see what's up," Grissom replied, before going to back to the paperwork he had been filing.

* * *

"Hey, Sara, are you okay?" Nick asked, he, too, had noticed the change in her over the past couple of weeks. She had just spaced out while they were supposed to be processing a car that they had picked up that had matched the tire treads found at the scene.

"I'm fine!" she snapped, "Why does everyone keep asking if I'm okay? You're focusing on me more than the case!"

"Sorry," he apologized, "it's just that, you haven't been yourself lately, and I'm worried about you."

"Well, don't be," she said, "I'm fine, but Antonia Ricardo isn't, and we need to find out what happened to her."

"Okay," said Nick, beginning to spray the car with luminol.

* * *

After the shift had ended, Grissom approached Sara and asked, "Sara, could I talk to you for a minute?"

"If this is going to be about the way I've been acting lately, there's nothing wrong," she told him, She wished that she could just let it go, so people would stop bothering her.

"Look, Sara, I don't think that's the case, and I want to know the truth..." Grissom began to say.

"Um, Sara, there's somebody here to see you. She says she's your mother," Greg interrupted him as he walked into the room.

* * *

**a/n:** Please review! This is my first CSI fanfic, so I didn't know how it would turn out. Let me know if I should continue, or if I should just stop! 


	2. The Return of Laura Sidle

**Title: **She's Back

**Chapter Title: **The Return of Laura Sidle

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, just fooling around.

* * *

"M-m-mom?" Sara said to the Laura Sidle, who was standing at the reception desk. She still looked like her old self, just older and more worn out.

"Sara?" said her mother, "Come here and give you mother a hug."

"Mom," Sara replied, backing away from her, "what are you doing here? How did you find me?"

She was angry at her mother for killing her father, but at the same time, she was happy to see the woman that brought her into the world.

"It's not that hard to find people these days," her mom said, "I thought I'd come visit you and we could hang out for a couple of days."

"No, I'm sorry, but we can't," Sara said, "I guess you just came here thinking that I would think of you as some sort of hero for killing him! But you're not mom, you're just not! You took someone's life and now what? You think that you can just drop in for a couple days? Mom, I'm sorry, but what you did is unforgivable."

"I know, and that's why I came," Laura told her, holding back her tears, "I want to explain to you why I did what I did. I need you to try to understand. Please, just let me stay for a couple of days."

"Fine, mom," Sara said. She had always wondered what this moment would be like, ever since she looked up the case in Lexis and saw that she was out. The lawyers had cut her a deal at the time, so she went away for 20 years instead of 25 to life.

"Thank you so much," Laura said.

"Um, okay, let me just grab my stuff and then I'll take you to my apartment," Sara said.

The car ride to Sara's place was filled with silence. Laura had tried to start a conversation a few times, but Sara had always seemed unwilling to talk.

"This is where you live?" Laura asked Sara as Sara unlocked the door to her apartment.

"Yeah, why?" Sara asked, slightly offended by her mother's tone, "It's not like I'm ever home, though; I'm always out working on cases."

"Oh, I forgot, you're one of those CSI people now, right?" her mother said, "Interesting choice of profession. I guess you chose it because you were mad at me for what I did and you wanted to get back at all the people like me."

"No, I just wanted to bring justice and closure to the families of the victims and I wanted to keep dangerous people off the streets," she replied, "Unfortunately, though, it seems that some of those people get out a little early."

"You know, I just wanted to make your life better!" Laura yelled, fed up with how hostile Sara was being towards her.

"Yeah, well there were other choices, mom!" Sara said, "You could have left, or divorced, or gone to a shelter!"

"And what? Leave you behind? The second I left that house, he was just going to start doing the same things to you as he did to me! I couldn't let that happen," she told her.

"Oh, so now you want me to think that what you did was the right thing?" she asked, "Well, let me tell you something, I have to live every day seeing the pictures of my father, dead on the floor flash through my head, and that's all thanks to you, mom."

"I get it; you actually _liked_ your father. Don't you remember what he did to me?" Laura asked.

"I do, mom, I do, and I also see pictures of you after a night with dad in my head every day. Each time we get a case with the slightest hint of domestic abuse, I can't get you out of my mind. I was suspended for one week because of the memories I had of my childhood!" Sara said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Sara," her mother said quietly.

"No, don't be sorry, no one can change the past," she replied.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, until Sara's cell phone rang.

"Sidle," Sara said, picking up the phone.

"Sara, this is Gil, I want you to take a few days off, paid leave," Gil told her, "I want to make sure you're okay before you come back to work."

"Look, its fine, really, I don't want to miss any more work than I already have," she told him, "I'll be there tonight."

"No!" he said sternly, "I don't want you anywhere near this lab until you make sure you have everything sorted out with you mother. Please, Sara, just take the time off."

"Fine," she answered, "but anything big, I want to know about it."

"Alright," Gil sighed. He knew there was no way he was going to be able to completely keep her away from her work for even just a couple days. "Good night, Sara."

"Night Gris," she said, hanging up the phone.

"Who was that, your boyfriend?" her mother said, interested in what she had missed out on in all the years she was in jail.

"No, he's my boss. He wants me to take a few days off until I get everything 'sorted out.' I guess he wants me to spend some time with you," she corrected her mother.

"Oh, well, that was nice of him, wasn't it?" Laura said, "That way, we can have plenty of time to talk about things."

"Yeah, sure," Sara said, rolling her eyes, "So, you want some pizza for dinner?"

"Oh, pizza would be great," he mother said, excited, "They didn't give us anything like that in…" Her voice trailed off toward the end of her sentence. She wanted to avoid mentioning anything about prison; it had been horrible enough the first time, and she didn't want to relive her experiences there.

"Um, yeah, I'll go order it," Sara said, turning towards the kitchen to get the phone.

This was a lot harder for Laura than she had thought it would be. When she couldn't go to sleep, she would stay up and imagine what this day would be like. She had expected Sara to just welcome her with open arms.

"Hey, mom," Sara called from the kitchen, "what do you want on your pizza?"

"Um, anything you want," she yelled back.

After they finished their meal, which had been eaten in almost total silence, Sara showed her mother where she could sleep and then retired to her room; there would be plenty of time to talk tomorrow.

"Good night Sara!" Laura Sidle told her daughter before lying down in her bed.

"Night mom!" she called back. She tossed and turned for almost an hour before she finally decided to call Grissom. She needed to talk to someone who already knew what had happened long ago.

"Hello?" Grissom said, picking up his phone on the first ring.

"Grissom," Sara said, distressed, "I can't do this."

"Look, Sara, you're a strong person," he consoled her, "I'm sure your mother will only be there a couple of days."

"No, Grissom, I'm not strong," Sara said, "I've just hid myself from you, from everyone, for so long. I make it seem like everything is okay, but on the inside, I'm falling apart. I can't even close my eyes anymore without seeing…it."

"Ask her to leave, then," Grissom offered. He had no idea what she was going through, but he wanted to help her anyway. He needed to know that she was okay. He really cared about her, and he couldn't stand to see her fall apart.

"I can't. I mean, she's my mother," she replied, "I don't know what to do. She said that she wants to make me understand what happened, but I already know what happened. I was there, Grissom, I saw it all. I heard it, I smelled it, and I swear that I could even feel the pain of the knife, right in my heart. The weird thing is, I never even _liked _my father, but when it was all happening, I couldn't help but cry."

"Well, anytime you see something as horrible as you did, you can't help but feel for them. They could be the worst person in the world, but you would probably feel their pain," Grissom told her, sounding like a shrink.

"I know, Grissom," she said through her sobs, "I can see it happening over and over. It's like my brain is switched on to KillerVision or something. I remember it like I remember what I had for dinner tonight."

"Do you want me to come over?" he asked.

"No, no, my mother would know that I really wasn't okay with her being there," she said, "and no matter how angry I am at her, I don't want to make her uncomfortable."

"I don't care Sara," he told her, seeing how upset she was, "I'm coming over, and that's final."

"But" she began to say, but she heard the click on the other end of the line before she could finish. Within fifteen minutes, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Grissom, you didn't have to come here," Sara said, opening the door quietly. There were tear stains on her cheeks and her eyes still had a glassy look to them.

"I know," he said softly.

"Um, come in," she said, "My mother is sleeping in the den, so we could sit in the kitchen. Do you want anything, a drink, something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine, I just ate," he lied.

She led him into her kitchen and they sat across from each other at the table.

"So, do you want to talk about it?" Grissom asked. He had heard most of it before, but he would be willing to listen again, as long as it would help Sara.

"Oh, Grissom," she began to say, but she burst into the tears that she had been holding back ever since she hung up the phone.

"Its okay, Sara," Grissom said, reaching for her hand.

"God, I'm sorry, I feel so stupid for crying like this," she said, trying to wipe some of her tears away.

"Its okay, really," he said calmingly, "We've all cried, sometimes it's the only thing we can do."

He sat at the table with her for an hour while she wept. It seemed like she had been holding back all her tears from her entire life, and they all just came spilling out.

"Sara?" said Laura, walking into the room, "Who is this?"

"No one, mom, go back to bed," she said, still sniffling a little bit.

"Why are you crying?" she asked.

"Its nothing, just go back to sleep," Sara told her.

"Did you do something to my baby girl?" Laura asked Gil, "Because if you did, God help me, you will regret it. Now let me tell you something, mister…"

"Mom!" Sara yelled, "Stop it! Now! He didn't do anything!"

"Um, I better be leaving," Grissom said uncomfortably, "Graveyard starts soon anyway and I have to go hand out assignments."

"I'm sorry, Grissom," Sara said apologetically, "Thank you, for everything, I needed that."

"Anytime you need anything, just call me Sara," Grissom said, walking out the door, "Good-bye."

"Bye, Gris!" Sara said.

"Well?" Laura demanded.

"Well what?" Sara asked.

"What the hell was he here for? And why were you crying like that?" she asked.

"He was here because he wanted to come," Sara said, "I called him just to talk and told me he was going to come."

"Okay, then why were you crying?" she asked, once again, "You didn't tell him did you?"

"Yes, mom, I did," she said, "I needed somebody to talk to, and was there. Sometimes, you just need to talk."

"You still haven't answered my question," Laura said, "Why were you crying!"

"Because of you, mom," Sara yelled, "because of what you did! I close my eyes and I see him and you and you lifting up that knife!"

"I did what I had to do!" she shot back.

"Well, then, right now, you have to leave!" Sara told her.

"You can't kick me out! I am your mother!" she yelled.

"I just did, ma'am," Sara replied, refusing to call her 'mom' or 'mother' anymore.

"Fine, then, you'll regret this," Laura said quietly.

"Trust me," she said, "I won't."

"Well, then, good-bye Sara!" Laura said, gathering her things.

After she was sure her mother was gone, Sara put the couch bed back in its place and then went to her bedroom to cry some more. The past few days had been almost too overwhelming for her, and she need to be alone. She wept for hours, until the phone rang.

"Hello?" Sara said, reaching for her phone.

"Sara, this is Grissom, I have some bad news," Gil told her.

"What?" Sara asked.

* * *

**tbc...**


	3. Last Chance

**Title: **She's Back

**Chapter Title: **Last Chance

**Disclaimer: **Ha! Like I own CSI!

**a/n: **Thanks for all the reviews!

* * *

"Your mother was found outside the lab," Grissom told Sara, "She tried to kill herself. She is at the hospital in surgery." 

"What? Why?" Sara asked, stunned.

"I think that's for you to find out," Grissom said calmly, "Go down to the hospital and talk to her."

"Okay," Sara replied, still slightly dazed.

* * *

"Hi, mom," Sara said softly to her mother. 

Laura had been rushed to the hospital on an overdose and had been sedated, but now she was wide awake.

"What are you doing here, you bitch?" Laura asked angrily.

"Mom, please, we need to talk," Sara said, "I need to know why you tried to kill yourself and why you killed dad!"

"I gave you that chance, but you kicked me out," Laura replied, "I figured that I would be better off dead, but apparently that didn't work out too well, considering the fact that I'm not exactly dead!"

"Well, when they release you, why don't you stay at my place and we'll talk? I could help you get back on your feet, maybe find you a job or an apartment," Sara offered, wishing that she could take back everything she had said to her mother before.

"No, Sara," her mom said, "it's not that simple. When they release me, I'll leave you alone. I'll get a job and a place to sleep. I have a little money; I'll get by."

"Mom, I'm sorry about what I said before, but please, just at least let me give you some money," she pleaded.

"No!" Laura told her sternly, "You said that you wanted me out of your life, and now I want you out of mine! I'm going to leave and that's final! Now, get out of my room or I'll call security."

"Okay, then, good-bye mom," Sara said softly before gathering her things and walking out the door, knowing that she had already blown her chance at fixing things with her mother and that this would probably be the last time she ever saw her mother ever again.

* * *

"Hey, Grissom," Sara said, entering the entomologist's cramped office. 

"Oh, hi Sara," he said, barely looking up from his computer screen, "How did things go with your mother?"

"Um…" she said.

"Not so good, I'm guessing?" he asked.

"No," Sara said.

"Do you want to talk about it at all?" he asked.

"There's nothing really to talk about," Sara said, beginning rationalize the entire situation, "She came back to talk to me and to help me understand, I pushed her away so she tried to kill herself."

"You're rationalizing again, Sara," he told her.

"I just managed to screw everything up," she said, "I had the chance to really get to know my mother and I kicked her out. I told her to leave, and she did. I blew it, Grissom, I just blew it."

"You did what you thought you had to do, Sara, and sometimes people do the right thing and sometimes they don't, but you did what you had to do," Grissom said.

"I know, but it always turns out to be the wrong thing. I follow my heart and I end up exactly where I didn't want to be," she said.

"You went your entire life without her, you'll be fine."

"I know, but," she began, but she began to weep uncontrollably.

"Its okay, Sara, trust me, it's all going to be okay," he said, hugging her comfortingly.

"I know, Grissom, I know," she said, welcoming his hug and sobbing into his shoulder. With his arms around her, it did seem like everything would work itself out, and she knew that Grissom would help her through it all.

THE END!

* * *

**a/n: **Yeah, I know it's kind of a cheesy ending and whatnot, but I had to put a little GSR into this story! 


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